Tangles & Ties
by Va'Lithra
Summary: "He wasn't right, he didn't fit, when he walked there were paw-prints, when he spoke there were fangs." Solas can't be trusted and Cole can see the wolf at his heels. It was unsafe, troublesome, and he needed the inquisitor to be safe, to be his.


**TANGLES & TIES**

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><p><em>"Give me the waters of Lethe that numb the heart, if they exist, I will still not have the power to forget you."<em>

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><p>Cole watched, eyes squinted, tangled, torn, lost between the ripples like fabric, curtains, covering the window and hiding the shadows outside. He sighed, long, light, like her hair twisting in the wind, delicate fingers curled around the hilt of her blade. Slashing, slicing, she caused suffering, pain, death, dead and gone. Red, like silk draped across her shoulders, keeping her warm. It tainted her glow, it made her harder to see, but she was still there. Not lost, not yet, but soon.<p>

His hands held tightly, leaning too far, he might fall, but he watched her. Smiling, gentle, her hand pale like the moon. It touched him, soft. It looked nice, he could feel it but he couldn't. Something in his chest, tight, constricting, fear and envy. He didn't like it, made him feel different, too much energy but not the right kind, bottled, contained when it felt as though it should be out, away, far from him. His eyes were drawn to the face beneath her palm.

Solas, he wasn't right, he didn't fit, when he walked there were paw-prints, when he spoke there were fangs. He sounded different, didn't sing the same, didn't sound the same. She was too white, too small, he enveloped her. Cole didn't like it. Felt himself struggle, his voice trapped, his chest hollow. He touched her, too. Wanted it to be bad, to feel bad, to leave a foul taste but it didn't, his hand was as gentle as hers, too gentle, didn't want to hurt but he did. Hurt her, hurt Cole.

Didn't want to leave, but he would, felt his pain. Shouldn't hurt. It wasn't right, Solas wasn't right, his touch on her wasn't right. Cole gripped the barrister, cool wood heated, changed the tune, changed the colours, it liked the warmth but it was cold now, it wasn't there where it used to be. Once alive, now polished, preserved, like bones to him. He shuddered.

The elf wore a mask, no one could see, but he wasn't trusted, wasn't safe, needed to be gone but she would hurt, Cole couldn't fix it. They leaned closer as he watched, their lips closed the gap, wanting, needing, what would it taste like? His lips burnt, cold, lonely, they wanted what he had. Wanted to touch, to seek, to find the feeling, the one that felt warm in his stomach, but was acid in his chest.

Unfair, unjust, not deserving of her touch. Something unwelcome, feels too strong and makes the other feelings dull. Overwhelming, hot, too much, makes his face funny, his fingers tight, they want to grab something, to crush it, to ruin something precious. They still hold each-other, happy, at peace, but Cole was restless. Didn't like it, couldn't change it but it needed to be changed. What to? Change the touch, change the feeling, leaves nothing behind. Helpless. Unfair. Unjust.

"Cole?" a warm voice, bold but uncertain.

"Dorian…" He started, on the verge of a question.

"Yeah?"

Cole turned, leaning his back against the railing, staring at the books behind the man.

"It… It isn't right, something hurts but it doesn't, feels cold and empty but too full, bursting." He stared at his hands, playing idly with the sleeves of his jacket, tapping his foot slowly. "I- does it have to stay?" he asked, glancing up from beneath his hat. Dorian gave him a sympathetic smile before propping his elbows against the wood, staring down at the two elves helplessly lost in each-others company.

"Solas?" He asked with a chuckle. "Or how you feel?"

Cole thought about it for a moment. "I… want her to be happy, but I don't want to see. Not blind, just clear, they make things foggy, blurred around the outside, dull but too vivid."

Dorian sighed. Didn't want to say, be Cole could feel it. Can't be changed, needed to learn, learn to live where things are unclear and uncomfortable. Not the same anymore, she changed it all but she would not change, he had to 'endure'.

"You've hurt before, too. Far away, had to leave. Too hard to pretend."

"That was a long time ago." He said bitterly.

"Time does not change it, only numbs, it never goes back to the way it was." He replied, defeated.

They stood in silence for a long time, he stared at her, bright, glowing, warm. Tasted of hope and happiness, her sound fractured, she blended but didn't disappear, she could touch the void without moving it, harming it or changing it. She was special, had her own music, her own colours. He'd never seen them before. His chest ached, hollow, lost. So close but too far away. He wanted to touch her, more he wanted to forget. Cole didn't hear, but he felt the answer.

'no, it never does.'

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><p>"Some people never say the words 'I love you', for like a child they're longing to be told."<p>

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><p><strong>Read and Review! <strong>

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><p>Another super short introductory chapter. The next one should be much longer! Hope y'all like it, still getting the hang of his character. This feels a bit over the top to me, but I'm pretty content to leave it as it is and just fix it later once I'm more sure of the rest of the story.<p> 


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